“I put out extra food.”
DREW PANCKERI
“After the lawsuit, the matador can only pierce the bull with harsh and insensitive tweets.”
BILL ABBOTT
“I’m not saying sex is off the table. I’m just saying the table is probably really dirty.”
ALI SOLOMON
“I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do this.”
AL ROZANSKI
“Will my phone still recognize me?”
PHIL WITTE
“You’ll never believe who’s here.”
AMY KURZWEIL
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